“In the ordinary choices of every day, we begin to change our lives.” Eknath Easwarn
A few weeks ago, I was going to meet a friend for lunch in the lower village of Montecito. I parked a little way up the street, in front of an art gallery. I was a bit early, so I paused to admire the paintings in the window of the gallery.
Off to the right in a corner there was a little sign that said “painting lessons. All levels, beginners welcome.” I tried to push open the door, but it was locked. Just then a lovely woman with her blonde hair pinned up in a twist, poked her head out of another door and invited me inside. I followed her. Ten minutes later, I left the store, having written her a check for a paint box filled with brushes and paints and six weeks of lessons. My life was about to change.
I have always been spontaneous. I much prefer it to planning. My life is proof of that. I never intended to do most of what I have done, including start a family in my teens, have a career at all, let alone in the fields in which I found myself, become an alcoholic, get sober at twenty eight or be married five times. My life is the map of the ordinary choices I have made on any given day.
So fast-forward to now. For the past five weeks I have been painting in oils. This is something I did not plan to do, but secretly wished I could do. (The universe is ALWAYS listening.) I feel my life turning in a new direction in a dramatic way. It is not that I have suddenly become a fabulous painter. I have not. What HAS happened is that I have begun to paint and more importantly, I have begun to see the world through new eyes.
Yesterday I completed a tortuous, three-day, intensive workshop in color mixing. Again, I had no plans to do this. During one of my regular Tuesday night painting classes, the teacher announced that she would be teaching this workshop and still had two seats available. My hand flew up without my permission and the next thing I knew, I was writing a check for $500.00. This was a surprise to me. I had no idea what she was talking about or what it would entail. Furthermore, I was a bit apprehensive about what my husband would say about my newly found place to spend money. I was shocked! He was happy!
The color mixing class revealed itself to be a true workshop, meaning, it was hard work. Three, eight hour days, sitting on a hard, backless wooden stool, while creating by hand, color charts using ten colors. Each color was then mixed with every other color, (in five different values, plus the original ten colors in five different values,) creating 600, personal to me, colors in oil. It was brutal!
It took me the whole first day to get the hang of how to use the palette knife for mixing. It turns out there is a specific technique required to do this without taking all day, which it did that first day. The second day was easier, and we got to paint.
Rather than the usual task of trying to copy a painting of one of the masters, she gave us black and white copies of paintings and we were to find our own value in tones and use our own colors. It was magical. I loved it.
This is such a metaphor for life. We find our values and choose how we will paint our own lives. It happens in spite of us, and truly does occur by the ordinary choices of everyday. Sometimes we make a plan and sometimes the plan makes us. My life has mostly been of the latter variety.
It had been more than forty-eight years since I decided to become a mother. It was not a hard choice for me because I wanted children. The timing of my choice was a bit askew, since I was just seventeen, but the resulting three daughters have blessed me more than I can measure.
As far as a career, I never planned on having one. My parents never suggested anything beyond finding a good husband. My first divorce made my many careers come about. Each of them was but a choice in one day. The universe took it from there. I have worked in sales, in fashion and as a writer. None of this was my idea.
My marriages, well, my final marriage was my choice and I am grateful to have had my feet on the ground when Tom came into my life.
My sobriety was another small choice in an ordinary day. It was a Sunday in December and like so many previous Sundays, I awakened with a hangover and regret. I made a phone call to an answering service, whose person placed a call to a stranger, who then called me back. This one small decision, changed the course of my entire life. I have remained sober since I made that call, more than thirty eight years ago, but sobriety brought far more than not drinking. I had no idea of this when I made that one small choice.
So today, my body feels as though I have been on a horse for the past three days. My back and my bottom feel bruised. My dreams last night were filled with color. When I look out of my window to see the morning sky, I see more than I have ever seen before.
I am filled with gratitude by my nature and by practice. I am grateful the most for that one simple trait. But now I see every stroke, every touch of magic and genius in the ordinary things of my day. This was always there only now my sensitivity to it is heightened and honed. I am a painter. I am an artist. I am a creator of beauty in every breath I take. My life is the canvas of every choice I have made, and trusting my heart, saying yes or no, taking the next step, and not thinking too much about any of it, has led me to more than any plan I might have made or ever could have.
My life is not fair. Lucky for me!!!
“In the ordinary choices of every day, we begin to change our lives.” Eknath Easwarn
A few weeks ago, I was going to meet a friend for lunch in the lower village of Montecito. I parked a little way up the street, in front of an art gallery. I was a bit early, so I paused to admire the paintings in the window of the gallery.
Off to the right in a corner there was a little sign that said “painting lessons. All levels, beginners welcome.” I tried to push open the door, but it was locked. Just then a lovely woman with her blonde hair pinned up in a twist, poked her head out of another door and invited me inside. I followed her. Ten minutes later, I left the store, having written her a check for a paint box filled with brushes and paints and six weeks of lessons. My life was about to change.
I have always been spontaneous. I much prefer it to planning. My life is proof of that. I never intended to do most of what I have done, including start a family in my teens, have a career at all, let alone in the fields in which I found myself, become an alcoholic, get sober at twenty eight or be married five times. My life is the map of the ordinary choices I have made on any given day.
So fast-forward to now. For the past five weeks I have been painting in oils. This is something I did not plan to do, but secretly wished I could do. (The universe is ALWAYS listening.) I feel my life turning in a new direction in a dramatic way. It is not that I have suddenly become a fabulous painter. I have not. What HAS happened is that I have begun to paint and more importantly, I have begun to see the world through new eyes.
Yesterday I completed a tortuous, three-day, intensive workshop in color mixing. Again, I had no plans to do this. During one of my regular Tuesday night painting classes, the teacher announced that she would be teaching this workshop and still had two seats available. My hand flew up without my permission and the next thing I knew, I was writing a check for $500.00. This was a surprise to me. I had no idea what she was talking about or what it would entail. Furthermore, I was a bit apprehensive about what my husband would say about my newly found place to spend money. I was shocked! He was happy!
The color mixing class revealed itself to be a true workshop, meaning, it was hard work. Three, eight hour days, sitting on a hard, backless wooden stool, while creating by hand, color charts using ten colors. Each color was then mixed with every other color, (in five different values, plus the original ten colors in five different values,) creating 600, personal to me, colors in oil. It was brutal!
It took me the whole first day to get the hang of how to use the palette knife for mixing. It turns out there is a specific technique required to do this without taking all day, which it did that first day. The second day was easier, and we got to paint.
Rather than the usual task of trying to copy a painting of one of the masters, she gave us black and white copies of paintings and we were to find our own value in tones and use our own colors. It was magical. I loved it.
This is such a metaphor for life. We find our values and choose how we will paint our own lives. It happens in spite of us, and truly does occur by the ordinary choices of everyday. Sometimes we make a plan and sometimes the plan makes us. My life has mostly been of the latter variety.
It had been more than forty-eight years since I decided to become a mother. It was not a hard choice for me because I wanted children. The timing of my choice was a bit askew, since I was just seventeen, but the resulting three daughters have blessed me more than I can measure.
As far as a career, I never planned on having one. My parents never suggested anything beyond finding a good husband. My first divorce made my many careers come about. Each of them was but a choice in one day. The universe took it from there. I have worked in sales, in fashion and as a writer. None of this was my idea.
My marriages, well, my final marriage was my choice and I am grateful to have had my feet on the ground when Tom came into my life.
My sobriety was another small choice in an ordinary day. It was a Sunday in December and like so many previous Sundays, I awakened with a hangover and regret. I made a phone call to an answering service, whose person placed a call to a stranger, who then called me back. This one small decision, changed the course of my entire life. I have remained sober since I made that call, more than thirty eight years ago, but sobriety brought far more than not drinking. I had no idea of this when I made that one small choice.
So today, my body feels as though I have been on a horse for the past three days. My back and my bottom feel bruised. My dreams last night were filled with color. When I look out of my window to see the morning sky, I see more than I have ever seen before.
I am filled with gratitude by my nature and by practice. I am grateful the most for that one simple trait. But now I see every stroke, every touch of magic and genius in the ordinary things of my day. This was always there only now my sensitivity to it is heightened and honed. I am a painter. I am an artist. I am a creator of beauty in every breath I take. My life is the canvas of every choice I have made, and trusting my heart, saying yes or no, taking the next step, and not thinking too much about any of it, has led me to more than any plan I might have made or ever could have.
My life is not fair. Lucky for me!!!
So beautifully put into words, I feel the impact of your experiences.
Now you should write a book, a autobiography !!
Posted by: Cecilia Mantecon | 04/07/2013 at 10:46 AM
Congratulations on all of your choices. I love who you are. It is inspiring to watch a good friend - do the
difficult work - in order to create.
Thank you, thank you - for being an artist!! Look forward to your next steps with the magic of COLOR!!
Love,
KL
Posted by: katherine gray | 04/07/2013 at 10:57 AM
My dear friend, you have always been a artist. You have just found a new 'outlet' for your artistic nature. You and I have both been thru times when our 'choices' were few, and our 'loads' were heavy ... hold onto the memories of those times, they enrich you and the artist you are.
Hugs,
Ed
Posted by: Ed | 04/07/2013 at 03:43 PM
i am so, so happy for you in your newest adventure. love, judy
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