Yesterday I gave myself permission to do almost nothing. It was “almost” nothing because to avoid starving to death, I first had to make a trip to Von’s for provisions and then come home and cook. Still, it was a glorious, lazy rainy day!
These do-nothing-days are few and far between thanks to the fact that I have a big, rich life! It has not always been this way. I remember the exact mother’s day when my girls were in high school, when everything began to change.
The girls had treated me to a breakfast in bed of fresh fruit and bran muffins from the Kettle in Manhattan Beach where we lived and coffee served just the way I like it, on a tray. The three of them sprawled out on the foot of my big bed and we laughed and talked and nibbled for a couple of hours, after which they went to get showered and dressed for their day. I moved to the living room to read the paper.
A little while later they emerged all cute and shiny and headed out the door to meet their friends. “Hey, what about me?’ I cried pathetically from my spot on the couch. Stacy paused for a nano-second to say, “Mom, you have to get your own life!” So there it was; the truth spoken from the mouth of my first -born. I had to get my own life!
Fast forward to today, a mere twenty or thirty- some years later and I have done just that. In fact that very same daughter told one of my friends recently, “My Mom has a big life!” Now, back to being lazy.
Of course I have heard and said all the cliché phrases such as “we are human beings, not human doings,” and I agree. Still, I want to always say “yes” to life; to those moments and opportunities when I can be with my friends, out of the comfort of my home, to be of service and to witness and celebrate all of the blessings and experiences we have been given to celebrate.
I do not like to “pass” on a meeting, a lunch, a birthday, a movie or a chance to be of service. Or to shop! I like to say yes to any request my daughters make of me. I feel I owe them my support for the rest of my life, as a way of making amends for the years I was not “on-deck.” I feel I owe my husband the very same “yes” for whatever he asks of me. Still, I have become sloppy with some of it. For example, I no longer wish to cook every day.
For the first twelve years of our marriage, I did, and they were lovely, tasty, beautifully presented meals. Tom was always appreciative and said as much. However, I don’t want to cook any more! (Can you hear the whine in my voice?) It’s too much work for just the two of us, and my kitchen is in the living room so if I want to have everything looking pretty, I have to clean it all up. Right away! I don’t want to!
I prefer to cook occasionally, and for an audience. Sometimes that audience is our family of twelve to twenty kids and grandkids. Sometimes it is for friends. I cook every Thursday for the Big Book girls. I love doing that because I know they look forward to having a meal prepared for them once a week. This is part of what makes my life feel big and rich and full.
Yesterday I prayed for rain and got it. It started late in the morning and continued throughout the day. I made a pot of green soup with spinach, broccoli and kale and ate it all through the day in a big cup with a dollop of sour cream. I read fashion magazines and watched TV for five hours or more, napping under my fluffy blanket with my sox and slippers on. I made myself a fake ice cream treat of frozen banana’s, aciai berries and orange juice cubes and ate it with a spoon from one of my favorite, pretty glasses. I said out loud at least three times how much I LOVED this day!
This morning I slept until well after seven. The sun was streaming in the windows when I went to have my coffee and stare out at the birds. There was snow on the mountains nearby and drops of rain still clung to the branches of the trees looking like rubies and emeralds. Our morning was slow and we went out for a late breakfast on State Street before walking at butterfly beach.
We were home around one thirty in time for Tom to read outside for a while before we both gave in to the urge to nap. In no way do I deserve such a perfect day and yet, I have taken it. I thought my friends were coming up from Los Angeles for dinner but Mike called to say they’re coming next Sunday, so I invited Stacy and Morgan and Stacy’s cousins over for an early dinner.
It is amazing how restored I feel from the little vacation I’ve taken while going nowhere. I hope I can remember to schedule another such lazy day long before I’m about to crash and burn. I should not feel I need to wait for rain. I can take a mental health day, a restorative day, a day for refilling my own cup but I seem to forget! I forget! I forget again!!
Doing nothing should be an appointment of as much priority as getting my hair colored, getting my teeth cleaned, getting my spine adjusted or getting my nails done. I need to have my body, mind and spirit adjusted and if I have to pencil it in to my busy, rich life to keep it, well let me go to find the pencil!
My life is so glamorous! It’s just not fair, lucky for me!!
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