Yesterday my sweet husband scored a new high on the meter that measures perfection. He wished me a Merry Christmas upon awakening and going to sleep. He sat by, patiently and supportively, while one by one, our twenty-one kids and grandkids opened and examined their personal pile of gifts, most of which were purchased by ME and will be paid for by HE.
He mingled with every guest, helped our son-in-law Ted install “Tom’s” gift from me of a Wii console. Took out the trash a few times and then, with Ted in the lead and supported by Stacy and Stephanie, finished the dishes from the Christmas feast for 27. He never complained about anything. In fact, he complimented me a few times on what a great job I had done on Christmas. This morning he WOKE UP from whatever spell he was under!
Before eight o’clock he started kvetching about the cost of the twelve mascaras I gave to the various girls. (Too bad I left the receipt in the bag.) Like my signature-mashed potatoes, (which are basically three sticks of butter, three bars of cream cheese, two pints of sour cream with a little milk and salt and pepper, oh, and a three bags of Yukon gold potatoes, skin on, for fiber,) one should NEVER reveal the details of the little touches at Christmas!
For instance, one should tear off the price of the thirty- three pounds of standing prime rib roast from Gelsen’s. He does not need to know this detail. It could cause a little stress. He will not need to be made aware of the exact cost of shipping two electric, ride upon Razor scooters which tomorrow I will take to the post office and ship by donkey to Alabama. He’s not stupid, and the fact that it took two grown men to carry each of them from the closet to the living room, lets him know already, more than he cares to know.
It may not seem like it, but I have reeled in my purchasing of Christmas gifts by miles and miles from years gone by. For one thing, our living room is smaller by about five times. The people are bigger and take up more space. Along with that, their wish lists have the potential for including more expensive things. Little packages can sometimes cost more than they used to.
Still, I like to get everyone most everything he or she desires or longs to have for Christmas. Consequentially I was so sad when Morgan was disappointed at the gifts his cousins received that he did not, and which he had clearly placed on his Christmas list. He says he told me, but I missed it. His Mother and Santa also missed it. Morgan was not alone.
I gave one of Brittany’s gifts to Arianna because I had forgotten that I had already wrapped a dress for Ari. I gave one of Morgan’s gifts to Aidan because of the same memory lapse. I gave Holland’s mascara to Faith and gave Brittany a brand of mascara to which she has an allergy. I gave Ted some ties that I didn’t even like but the dorky salesman talked me into. I gave him some running shorts that were a size too small because his wife thinks he is smaller than he is. You get the picture. Oh and I made Brittany cry when I yelled at her for buying roasting pans that were too small to hold the rib roasts. She WAS, after all, the only driver who was willing to make a grocery store run for more potatoes, drinks and pans while every one else was eating brie and crackers, spinach dip and playing Wii-dance. (I’m sorry Britt. It was entirely my fault since I had already tried to purchase pans at Vons and found they did not have them.)
Personally, I think I did remarkably well! Congratulations to me! (Next year’s goal might me to learn about humility.) I DID shop for twenty family members, 24 friends and got a few little things for myself. I donated to the food bank, the local women’s recovery home, the world wildlife fund, the red cross and silent unity. I gave two dinner parties, not counting Christmas, a brunch for twelve, and decorated the house by myself (only on the inside, Jose’ did the outside lights. Tom hung the wreath on the front door.) However, my husband is up in his office right now working on the Sunday after Christmas to pay for my good deeds and fun then he is taking five or six kids to the movies to see Tron. Who do you think has the better deal?? ....... Shh! Don’t tell!
My life is so glamorous! It’s just not fair, lucky for me!!
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