Going under the knife.

I have never believed in a punishing God.  My God loves me with all of my quirks and flaws and honors the intentions of my highest self. My highest self wants to be of maximum service to as many as possible and have fun while wearing cute shoes and lipstick along the way.  My God knows that I am grateful beyond words for the sweet, simple beauty of my life.  

So with all of this in mind and a nod to my parents and that loving God again, I say “thank you”!  Thank you for my excellent health, my long legs, my cheek bones and my mostly straight teeth.  I hope no one will be mad at me, but tomorrow morning I’m going under the knife.  That’s right, I have caved to vanity and perfectionism and I am having my neck and eyelids taken in, and my beginning-to -sag-jowls hoisted.

There really is nothing more to say, except that this decision was made over a period of many years, and not one that I take lightly.  My friend Laura is kind enough to go with me and put ice packs on the eyelids and give me sips of kefir out of a straw.  The rest is a mystery to be discovered.  I have tried and failed, to not be self-obsessed, and for that I am truly sorry.  Though I may talk about myself and my “whatever” way too much, you can believe me when I tell you that there is far less talking than the constant chatter that goes on in my head. 

My daughter Shelley has pointed out to me quite clearly that it is the inner beauty that counts.  I believe that, I really do.  I told her I think this may be a generational flaw or belief or whatever we want to call it, but I’m one step ahead of my parents generation because at least I know it’s not the outer beauty that really counts. I just cannot completely surrender the old idea that I should look my best.   I am not doing this for anyone other than myself. My husband though supportive, thinks I’m crazy.

I feel wonderful!!  I am healthy, fit and fully alive.  I love my life every single day!  I want my chins, my neck and my eyelids to look as perky as I feel.  It is embarrassing, but it is a fact for me.

So there you have it.  Laura will pick me up in an hour or so and we will drive south to a hotel to be near the surgery center for my seven o’clock check-in in the morning.  Dr. Improta will draw on me, and Dr. Swanson will put me to sleep.  At around twelve thirty, Laura will come back to get me and we will retire to the Hampton Inn for a date with ice packs until Tuesday morning at which time we will go back to Dr. Improta for new bandages and a smaller helmet.  (Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it?)

I consider myself a spiritual being having a human experience.  I love being human, and this is a part of it for me.  Self-obsessed, flawed, trying to be open and honest about all of it and taking it one step, one stitch, one minute at a time.  Wish me luck!!

My life is so glamorous!!  Lucky for me, it is not fair!

 

Comments

[meredith]

i love you grandma! be safe and good luck!

[Shelley Meaney]

I love you too! You are surrounded by love and light as you go deep for your transformation. My your cocoon be comfortable, may your metamorphosis be spectacular on many levels. Thanks for letting me make the film. I'm excited!!!

[Shelley Meaney]

Check out my blog for updates on Mom's (Kathy's) film on this experience
www.shelleysbellys.blogspot.com